Pretty please with a crisis on top? I’m sorry, was I gone too long?
With all that was happening with me, I got lost and couldn’t find my way back. It all began when I was sitting on a chopstick and listening to bad music, then suddenly the chopstick broke and I fell into this plate with dim sums in them and out of my sky a red hot liquid rained down on me and now that I think about it, I should have ran, rather than lying down. Oh well, there are only so many times sauce rains on you, so I enjoyed it. But then I died. A very spicy death, I must say.
Then, I woke up and I was inside water. I didn’t have a nose and I couldn’t see straight, quite literally. My eyes were on the side of my head. From the corner of my eye I saw a very strange thing; Fish were walking, pigs were flying, dinosaurs were buildings and I was stuck in what was called a human tank, in this very weird place. All of a sudden, I felt really dizzy, my head was hurting and I knew something was ‘fishy’ but before I could laugh at my own pun I burst.
To my surprise, I woke up again and this time I was literally floating above everyone and I felt really light, but heavy as well. A cloud. I was a cloud. Was I even I? Then suddenly I was leaking, like that broken pipe in your kitchen. I started to feel weak, but then I couldn’t really feel anything. My life had never been more confusing. Then it all stopped and this wasn’t one those “They saw each other for the first time and all time stopped.” No. It stopped because suddenly I was divided into two parts. The last thing I remember was seeing the back of an airplane.
The next few lives I lived were short and tiring, from being a coyote to being a lemon, all of it was just too much for me and I rebelled.
Now, it’s all black. Well, shit.
Black. It’s so frustrating here. There is no electricity and no sun, so it’s forever dark. There is also no atmosphere here. I can’t differentiate left from right, up from down. I can’t smell, eat, listen, talk and sight is something which seems to have long left me.
I was told that I could become anything here and for a minute I was happy because I chose to be a God, but for some reason they made me a piece of fungi, I don’t know what’s happening. Also, who told me I could be anything? Where is this ‘they’ and why are they hypocrites like my government?
It’s been very long now and I don’t seem to die anymore and it’s frustrating, yet peaceful. I’ve made my own idea of time in this darkness and I’m now used to knowing nothing. I’m forever young here. I’m so confused, but calm. I think I’m going to start my own society.
Society. Is this the beginning of a new civilisation? My civilisation. You can join. Contact details are somewhere in the fifth dimension. I hope to see you soon.