I’m the most narcissistic and egoistic person you’ll never meet. I hoped to amend myself, but I’m so forsaken. I’ll get straight to the point. In about 18 minutes it’s going to be midnight and I’m going to kill myself. But, don’t worry I’ll still be waking up tomorrow morning and looking forward to absolutely nada. At midnight I’m going to kill my old self. Not 12:01 or 11:59 but 12:00, because this midnight is the abyss made for me. I’m committing mental suicide.
Tomorrow I’ll be a completely new person. I’ll be happy, untroubled and radiant. I’m just kidding. But to move on I need to kill my soul. I’m listening to every sad song you know about and tomorrow I’ll be listening to these same songs but with a different personality. Personality. My foundation. The same foundation that I’m going to uproot and throw away. Along with it my soul.
I pledge to be a happy robot from tomorrow. I tried to live. I did, I swear. I followed what my heart said, how was I to know that my heart was a jet-black piece of shit? Like diarrhoea shit . So from tomorrow I’m going to succumb myself to life. Do what it tells me, let it shape my destiny. I’ve been trying to escape it for too long. I need to stop running from it, right? I’m pretty sure down the line, sometime, I’ll have the courage to not just kill my soul, but the physical waste of matter that I am. I’m scared. This music isn’t helping. These are probably the last moments of my personal freedom and I’m wasting it with you. But I like you. I don’t know you, but I know somewhere deep down you’re a good person.
I honestly feel like killing my body would be easier than killing my soul and youth and personality. I don’t want to become part of the world, I was happy living in my own dreams. No one told me I had to wake up.
Tonight, I die on the inside. I’m already in pieces but, I’m not going to cry. No. I’m going to spread my wings and excel in the fake and concrete world we’ve made for ourselves.
I bid my goodbye now. I’m fine.